Best of EHSAAN QURAISI

Ek din, main Delhi pahuncha, Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha. Coolie ne kaha: "Bahar jaake poocho."

Maine khud hi rasta dhundh liya, Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha: "Bhai saab Lal Kile ka kitna loge?" Jawab mila: "Bechna nahi hai."

Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li, Conductor se pooncha: "Ji, kya mein cigarette pi sakta hoon?" Wo gurrra kar bola: "Hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette pina mana hai." Maine kaha: "Par wo janab to pi rahe hai!" Phir se gurrrraya: "Usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai."

Lal Kile pahucha, hotel gaya. Manager se kaha: "Mujhe room chahiye, satvi manzil pe." Manager ne kaha: "Rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?" Room pahucha, waiter se kaha: "Ek paani ka gilas milega?" Usne jawab diya: "Nahi sahab, yahan to saare kanch ke milte hain."

Hotel se nikla, dost ke ghar jaane ke liye, Raste me ek sahab se pooncha: "Janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?" Janab hans kar bole: "Peechle bees saal se dekh rahan hoon, Yahi padi hai... kahin nahin jaati."

Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk pada, Usne poocha: "Kaise aana hua?" Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi, Maine bhi jawab diya: "Train se."

Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se kaha: "Areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya hai, Uuse kuch taja taja khilao." Sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye. Kaha: "Taji hawa kha lijiye."

Dost ne phir se baday pyar se biwi se kaha: "Areeee sunti ho, inhe jara apna chalis saal purana aachar to dikhana." Bhabiji ek baatli me rakha aachar le aayi. Maine bhi apnapan dikhate hue bhabiji se kaha: "Bhabhiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi nahi?" Bhabiji ne taak jawab diya: "Yuhi agar sab ko chakhati To aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota?"

Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne potey ko sula rah thi, Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi: "Diploma so ja, diploma so ja." Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha: "Yaar, ye diploma kya hai?" Dost ne jawab diya: "Mere grandson ka naam, Beti bambai gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye Aur saath mein ise le aayi, Isiliye hamne iska naam Diploma rakh diya." Phir maine pooncha: "Aajkal tumhari beti kya kar rahi hai?" Dost ne jawab diya: "Bambai gayi hai, degree lene ke liye